"On the wildly popular podcast 'Girl on Guy,' comedian and actress Aisha Tyler asks her guests to recount moments from their lives when they've done something boneheaded, ill-conceived, dangerous, or just plain stupid--to themselves. In Self-inflicted wounds, Aisha turns the lens on herself--recounting her most egregious mistakes--to hilarious result"--
Introduction: what, exactly, is a self-inflicted wound? -- Prologue: why am I doing this? Why? -- The time I cut myself in half -- The time I almost set myself on fire -- The time I was a human Maypolse -- The time I got my boobs way before everyone else -- The time I foolishly tried to trade vegetables for meat -- The time I almost seared my flesh to my dad's motorcycle -- The time I peed on myself and my surroundings -- The time I asked a boy on a wildly inappropriate date -- The bunny fiasco -- The time I desperately wanted to get my period -- The time I actually got my period -- The time I snuck out of my home in the night like a CBS after-school special -- The time I got drunk the night before taking the SAT -- The time I puked all over the car of a boy I liked in broad daylight -- The hot wasabi and the infinite sadness -- The time I was in an a capella group -- The time I danced tragically in front of my entire college -- The time I created my first sketch character -- The time I killed a hobo -- The first time I did standup -- The tenth time I did standup -- The hundredth time I did standup -- The time my worst standup nightmare came true -- The time I wore that awful see-through dress -- And had that awful two-toned hair -- All the times I did those terrible corporate standup gigs -- The day the comedy died -- The times I spit on someone from the stage while doing standup -- The time I broke my arm at Sundance, and the ensuing meltdown -- The time I broke my foot, alone, in a hotel room -- The time I fell asleep on the patio furniture at a birthday party -- The time I vowed to stop drunk tweeting -- The apologia, or, shut up Aisha, a far from comprehensive list of my verbal gaffes -- The coda: stop doing it to yourself.